Dear C,
I notice with trepidation your recent lack of response to my various recent attempts at communication. To my mind, this can only mean one of two things:
1. You and the other P. have currently been taken hostage by the eight combined offspring in your care, and are currently being force-fed a diet of alternating chicken nuggets and pizza in front of the TV, which has been cunningly tuned into Nickelodeon 24/7. Meanwhile, hubby has pulled six all-nighters at work in a row, blissfully unaware of any problems at home….Wait a minute, that’s my life, give or take the odd child/spouse.
2. Having jettisoned yours truly, you have at last managed to fulfil the dream of moving in DC’s most elite circles, and are currently enjoying a soiree of sophisticated cocktails and conversation around Hilary Rodham’s pool. In which case, I will understand perfectly next time you feel compelled to gather up your children and avoid eye contact as you hurry past our house.
In the case of number 1, dear C, Press any key by way of reply, and I will send for help. Conversely, I will take any continued lack of response as confirmation that Hilary has called.
Faithfully,
P.
