Dearest P,
After your nearly constant need to "touch base" while we were both traveling for the holidays, I really thought we would have seen more of each other in the new year. Perhaps you were a little concerned that my oldest cherub, who not only discovered vodka on New Years Eve, but foolishly thought his parents wouldn't notice its replacement with water, would badly influence your precious twins?
And I really thought our even-handed approach to the situation, after missing our own cocktail hour on New Year's Day b/c of the ruined libation, deserved some sort of parenting medal of honor. The fact that our son still lives to tell of a time b/f and after the event is remarkable. My restraint with the actual bottle (the satisfaction of smashing it would not have been inconsiderable you understand) is deserving of sainthood, really. Eldest is, I think, happy to be sent back to school as I do think he finally understands how tenuous is his mother's grip on reality when one's darling offspring messes with her daily spirits.
What truly surprised me was how much the other parents of children involved did not want to know what occurred. Although my son took the bullet for all, it was clear, from his lack of a raging hangover, that he had not in fact imbibed the entire half bottle of alcohol on his own. So, even though probably seven of eight boys had some, very few other parents were willing to acknowledge same. They offered apologies to others, who had to face this bad behavior in their sons, and recognized an opportunity to discuss the use of alcohol with their own little terror, something I had suggested might be very important to preserving their own supplies. But only two served up their son like the sacrificial lamb mine had become. My theory, and you know I am always lucky enough to have one, is that some parents in this town really believe all this nonsense will be saved for college applications. And, if they are just lucky enough to hide it all really well, Harvard will never know their child was actually a teenager. The fact that their child may also not be a great thinker is, thankfully, easily hidden by a screen of tutors for tests and college applications.
Alas, as you can see, my children's mother makes it nearly impossible to keep their foibles hidden. I spend so much time doing it for my own substantial flaws that I can't possibly fake it for four other human beings. And goodness knows, it might actually be good for them to recognize when they've made a mistake and own up to it. Oh, silly me, I must have forgotten where we live. Except for my own, I've never met a kid in DC who wasn't perfect all around. How come they don't all go to school with the Obama girls anyway?
C.
