Dear C,
So that explains why the oldballandchain rushed over to fix your computer today, while mine continues to languish in darkness! Also, why his own hard drive appeared so full of zip and vigor upon his return….Reassuring, in a way, to discover that it wasn’t simply your superior looks and witty repartee, which was my first conclusion when I saw the way he kept slapping you on the back and laughing like a drain at all your knock-knock jokes. I feel so much better now that I realize it was all just a ploy to get a better look at your software.
Not sure I am brave enough to attempt a little T-shirt liberation of my own, if only because I fear the entire world, and not just the oldballandchain, may fail to notice. Worse, I may endure the opprobrium of my daughters – and we all know that hell hath no fury like a scornful pre-teen. In your case, however, with your vastly superior assets, might I suggest the addition of a couple of tassles or silver stars, a la Janet Jackson, when it comes to the crucial private school interviews for the youngest? After all, should your interrogator turn out to be the kind of stone-faced harridan who would never see the humor in any kind of knock-knock joke, let alone your own personal wardrobe malfunction, you can always claim that said appendages are merely mini breast pumps, deployed so that you can continue to nourish your five-year old while pursuing your high-powered career.
Let me know how it goes.
Faithfully,
P.
