Left Holding the Baby

August 29th, 2012 : No Comments »

From: crystalwalker@sterlingmorris.com
To: gwalker@plunderhogg.com
Can you PLEASE come home early for once to shoot some hoops with your oldest son? Kevin-John claims not to have been assigned any homework yet, so he’s moping around the house and tormenting his younger brother. No wonder Karson feels obliged to resort to violence with his peers at pre-school.

From: crystalwalker@sterlingmorris.com
To: gwalker@plunderhogg.com
Fine. Just don’t come crying to me when the cherubs start sending you their therapy bills.

From: phoebegb@sahmsrule.net
To: crystalwalker@sterlingmorris.com
Subject: Blood-curdling Screams
Heard what sounded like distant wails coming from the vicinity of your house last night, and briefly considered offering to help with Baby, until sanity in the form of one of Lata’s pisco sours intervened.

Everything OK?

From: crystalwalker@sterlingmorris.com
To: phoebegb@sahmsrule.net
RE: Blood-curdling Screams
Cries of anguish were not Baby’s but my own reaction to George’s announcement that he’s going fishing in Wyoming with a couple of clients next week. That leaves Nina and me behind to cope with all the cherubs. He claims the trip is strictly for work, but he did admit to feeling the need to get away from all the demands placed on him at home these days. Doesn’t he realize that a maternity leave spent running a household with four demanding children is not exactly spring break in Daytona for me?

I know we both made the choice to move to here and have another baby. I just failed to anticipate I would be raising it as a single mother. Was this what the Sisters at my Catholic girls’ school meant by having it all?

From: phobebegb@sahmsrule.net
To: crystalwalker@sterlingmorris.com
RE: Blood-curdling screams
If Brad so much as thought about taking a trip without me after I had just given birth, he’d be a hunting souvenir by now. As it is, your predicament is but a distant memory for those of us who feel our husbands don’t travel enough.

In theory, Brad is responsible for bringing in all the household income, while I do everything else. Since the most common alternative to this arrangement appears to be for a woman to bring in the income and do everything else, I prefer to delegate at least one responsibility to my other half. To be fair, Brad does like to cook, but I’m not sure the occasional bowl of homemade pesto, delicious as it may be, is enough to make up for the fact that he has singularly failed to provide any significant earnings for a substantial period of time. And while I do believe in the man, I am also rather anxious about the dwindling size of our savings account. At this rate, we can barely afford to send one of the twins to community college.

If only I could remember which one promised to administer my sponge baths once I’m in the nursing home.

Text message from Crystal to George
What time will you be home tonite? In case u forgot, it’s Nina’s night off. U can’t possibly expect me to cook dinner AND handle homework/bedtime 4 all 4 cherubs alone. Can u?

Skye Chat
do u happen to have some of Brad’s pesto to spare? George just texted to say won’t be home till 10, and cupboard is bare. Willing to pay top dollar!

Will ask Brad asap.

Text From Crystal to Phoebe
Pesto = DELICIOUS. Please tell Brad he’s a godsend!

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