Oh C,
Surely you know me better than to believe I carry lust in my heart for only one man? Now I don’t mean to boast, but as someone who perfected the art of the overlap in a previous dating life, and whose current spouse did the same, let me state for the record that I only ever stay in one relationship until something better comes along. Having said this, my taste in men is thoroughly pedestrian – we conservatives are nothing, if not conventional – which is why my fantasy scenario with Brad Pitt (think sun-kissed Achilles, not toilet brush Ocean’s 11) is as follows:
Me, walking alone on desert island beach in bikini and sarong, family and most importantly all body fat having vanished with the convenience of celluloid. In the distance, Brad & Angelina approach, little Maddox and a hoard of paparazzi in tow. Miraculously, in real life Angelina turns out to have a backside that’s even bigger than her lips (something I’ve always suspected – there’s got to be some justice in the world, right?). Also, Maddox keeps insisting on playing with Uncle Brad, and we all know how quickly that becomes tiresome, no matter how much we claim to want kids. Suddenly, he spies me in the distance, and our eyes lock. We know we have to have each other, right then & there, and everyone else vanishes from the picture as we proceed to romp in the surf….
My apologies for not including you and yours anywhere in this fantasy, but I’m afraid your presence would only remind me of my current obligations, and thus the unlikeliness of it coming true. As for the oldballandchain’s fantasy fling, I believe I mentioned in a previous communique that it involves Steffi Graff, so the less said about it the better.
Faithfully,
P.
