Dearest P,
Think I've just uncovered the newest and best form of discipline for my cherubs: nightly butt inspections. Since our best girl in the 'hood announced she may have exposed our precious ones to pinworms, I did some web research on the matter. Discovered the most effective way to uncover the little bastards is surprise nighttime flashlight inspections of one's, well, nether regions. Imagine my middle's surprise at having his mother uncover his rear as he drifts toward dreamland. After reassuring him that there is indeed therapy for all this when he's older, he's actually able to retire again rather quickly.
Haven't spotted any vermin yet and am beginning to wonder how long I must continue this routine. Seems the the month long incubation period practically ensures I can never let down my guard. The unintended side effect seems to be better behavior on the part of my offspring, however. They appear to think I'm intending to root out their uncovered sins in my nightly raids. Best not to let them know it isn't their souls I see with my battery-operated light wand…
C.
