P,

In the spirit of Lent, I am combining what I think are appropriate themes to not only sacrifice myself—no Starbucks until Easter for me–but uplift hubby’s prospects.  He is, after all, a man like Jesus–though some would say they share little in common besides a desire to martyr themselves.  I, however, have decided to turn a season of repentance into one of giving by allowing him to choose, for me, what he considers more suitable underwear.  It appears, you see, that my choice in undergarments has become a little tired for the old ball and chain.  While I foolishly believed I was a secretly stylish mama in the lingerie department, he apparently began to dread the sight of my admittedly repetitive underwear fashion statement.  I have forwarded him the appropriate web site links and hope for some serious contemplation of WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?).  I envision my Lenten experiment to be a little uncomfortable for me (I just know too small thongs figure into the equation somehow) and only hope this fulfillment of my wifely duty will help him become a better man.

Faithfully,

C.

C,

All I can say is you are a far, far better woman than I – no, not for remembering that today is the start of Lent (although that, too) but for allowing, nay encouraging your husband to go ahead and log onto a bunch of porn – sorry, ‘lingerie’ websites. You must be incredibly secure in the state of your marriage to believe that your husband would emerge from his hours of ‘research’ and not judge you for lacking the airbrushed perfection and pneumatically-enhanced physique of a twenty-year old Victoria’s Secret model. Either that, or you take the pragmatic view that a little visual stimulation is good for a healthy marriage, no matter what the source. Didn’t I read that somewhere in the Bible? As for my husband, he knows better than to think he could get away with leching over pictures of semi-naked women, no matter how noble the purpose. Like any good totalitarian, I demand complete control over his viewing habits, taste in women and ESPECIALLY his thoughts. And now, given the frisky new look you are about to be sporting, I think it’s time to remind him of what I consider to be the most important of the Ten Commandments: Thou shallt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.

Faithfully,

Goody P.