P,

And we wonder why we never manage to achieve greatness, my friend?  I, for one, think much of the President-elect's success comes from never thinking of issues about which we find ourselves obsessed.  Instead, he's clearly busy keeping a journal about what really matters: all things him.  How else to explain the startling amount of detail in his first book: even when thirty-four I had a hard time remembering what I did the day b/f, let alone how my parents repeatedly failed me in childhood (and you know they did).  But setting that aside for the moment, I'm pretty certain, dearest P, that ultimately he's just another ordinary man who had little too offer until Michelle came into his life.  You just know she's the one who organized his underwear and, consequently, the rest of his life.  There is, also, that little rumor that Michelle is quite overbearing with him.  So, again, dearest P, I fear his tender neck stalk is truly supported by what we've known has been the case for centuries: the hands of a good wife around it.

C.

Dearest P,

I'm troubled by recent reports that our newest President-elect's children may attend the school I chose for my own cherubs.  Since eldest has since moved on to succeed beyond expectations at boarding school, I wonder whether his academic crisis at said private school may be attributed to my earlier poor choice of venues.  Is it possible my eldest's six months in public elementary school before our move to the coast made it impossible for him to fit with D.C.'s most precious?  As my middle two have been cocooned in the private sector since kindergarten, I really can't judge the issue fairly.  So I turn to you, dearest neighbor, to share what really happens when children are exposed to public education at a very young age.  Does going to school with no one who matters make a real difference in their lives?  And are the educational opportunities at one of the best public school systems in the country rendered meaningless b/c anyone who can sends their child to one of three schools requiring a  letter of recommendation from the West Wing to get in?  As youngest is soon to join her siblings at "real school," this is a timely reflection on my part. 

Faithfully,

C.

Dear C,

Touching as it is to hear how your eldest is blossoming at boarding school, I think the real lesson you should be asking is, how soon can I wrest him back so that he can re-sit fifth grade with the President-elect's oldest? Who cares that he just graduated middle school? As you suggest, no public school system on earth can possibly offer the same bragging rights that come with collecting your child from a slumber party in the Lincoln bedroom. And as long as you claim he is either a) specially gifted or b) rescued from an orphanage that burned down, along with his birth records, no-one will dare challenge you about his age. And besides, aren't half the privately-educated school children in DC held back to give them an edge in their applications to Harvard?

If I sound at all bitter, dear C, it is because my twins are forced to look at your cherubs' networking opportunities from the other side of the educational tracks. I may have learned to talk a good game about the public school system (learning how to lock up one's valuables or deal with a knife-wielding bully all being useful things to learn in the etiquette school of life), but as someone whose mantra is  'you get what you pay for,' I would be the first to concur that the connections both you and your child can make at DC's private schools are indeed priceless.

P.