P,
Your approach, although filled with excruciating earnestness, won’t get us much more than a little disdain in D.C. I find it far better to simply focus on matters we find most pressing, like doing anything the summer camp counselor requests, as one’s summer spa visits are especially important for aging skin, and ignoring, well, almost everything else.
Never doubt, dearest P, there is always another mother, and almost never a father, willing to consider the pros and cons of the much complained about teacher’s end of year gift and other such pressing concerns. There are even some, I fear, who derive a sense of ego gratification from such tasks. My advice when you find yourself immersed by accident, is to simply either offend all others involved (I wrote the manual on this so don’t hesitate to ask for specific examples), or simply don’t respond at all.
Early on in your absence the brood will cluck about your whereabouts and perhaps even inquire about your health (something I know you love to discuss so this will require some restraint). Simply ignore all calls and emails and, eventually, you will be forgotten. Totally. And completely.
I know it is hard for you to imagine there are those who have such a sucking void in their lives that they agree to help on useless and unimportant matters to fill it and then instantly regret participation when effort is required. I know, like me, you’d like to avoid all effort from the beginning and simply try to numb the void with alcohol.
My point, dearest P, is that all this may require some patronizing tones and stares, but who, in the end, has the last laugh: the hens scurrying around to do others’ bidding or us, as we lounge by the pool sipping pina coladas and reading trashy chick lit, crowing about our children and their budding independence? They may later define it differently, but that is all for their therapists to bear, now isn’t it?
Faithfully,
C.
